Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
