Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
