I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
