Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
