I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
