I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
