you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
