wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
