no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
