he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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