He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
