need another drink. this is the easiest way
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
