I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
