3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize