and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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