Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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