My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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