Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
