Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
