yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
