In the future we'll all be gay
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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