my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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