just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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