Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize