I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
