Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
