i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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