Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
