no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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