Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
COCAINE IS GR8
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize