No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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