Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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