and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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