i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
