I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
