can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
