im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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