He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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