We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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