I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
