low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
