We won't sleep together?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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