she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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