just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize