...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize