And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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