When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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