Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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