Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
