I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize