If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
