He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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