kristin has been a bad kristin
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.