There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
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im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.