I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.