Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
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So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
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do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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