"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot