Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
