My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
