I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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