well most of my day revolves around power hour
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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