wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it wasn't lemon gatorade
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
