Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
