Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
