idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
