wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
