Don't make out with my wife yet
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize