We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
